‘This p**ck turned me into a monster’: Kieron Dyer fights back tears as he reveals emotional toll of sexual abuse he experienced as a child after being forced to withdraw from Celebrity SAS
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Kieron Dyer has bravely revealed the emotional toll being sexually abused when he was just ’11 or 12′ has had on him while fighting back tears.
Speaking to Ant Middleton and Mark ‘Billy’ Billingham on Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins, former England footballer Kieron, 42, held back tears as he confessed: ‘This p**ck turned me into a monster.’
Visibly emotional, Kieron – who was forced to withdraw from the Channel 4 show on medical grounds – added: ‘The amount of people I’ve hurt because of these personality traits. I always had the mindset of do you know what, ’cause I’m a victim, this is the way I am.’
Brave: Kieron Dyer, 42, has bravely revealed the emotional toll being sexually abused when he was just ’11 or 12′ has had on him while fighting back tears
The sportsman revealed in 2018 that he was abused by an uncle named Kenny, who has since died. Kieron shares two children with his wife Holly.
Speaking during Sunday’s Celebrity SAS episode, Kieron – whose cracked rib forced him out of the competition – said in full: ‘I didn’t want to go on about sob stories or accomplishments, I wanted you to judge me from a clean slate, and yeah, I was a victim of sexual abuse when I was a kid.
‘I was 11 or 12 from a family member and this monster, well this f**king p**k turned me into a monster, and for the rest of my life the amount of people I’ve hurt because of these personality traits.
‘Like family, dad, mum, wife, you can go on and on. I always had the mindset of do you know what, ’cause I’m a victim, this is the way I am.
Emotional: Kieron held back tears as he confessed: ‘This p**ck turned me into a monster’
Shocked: Kieron was speaking to Ant Middleton and Mark ‘Billy’ Billingham (pictured), who were visibly shocked
‘I have just learned today when I come out of here, I’m not a victim of sexual abuse no more, because every time I’m a victim, he wins. Every time I hurt my family and they’re victims, he wins. I’m not a victim no more.’
He concluded: ‘The worry I have now is that even though I have this mindset, can I get to the end?’
Earlier in the episode the footballer’s cracked rib was exacerbated during the ‘redman’ challenge, which saw Kieron physically attack hardman instructor Jason Fox.
Intense: Kieron launched the assault on Special Forces agent Jason Fox during a scripted challenge that demanded participants develop a ‘killer’ mindset before releasing aggression
He launched the ‘vicious’ assault on Special Forces agent Fox, 45, during a scripted challenge that demanded each participant to develop a ‘killer’ mindset before releasing their pent up aggression.
Speaking to The Sun, Dyer – who won 33 England caps and represented his country at the 2002 World Cup – revealed he was motivated to reign kicks and blows on the safely padded instructor as revenge for Fox cracking one of his ribs earlier in the series.
He said: ‘Before this challenge, they get you psyched up about your family, who you’d kill for, and then send you in against Foxy dressed in all the red kit and you basically have to think like you want to kill him.
‘I just let it out and what was so great about that, what I loved, is that when Ant [Middleton] actually told me to stop, I stopped. I don’t think he thought I was going to stop, to be honest.
‘The scary thing is, why I felt sorry for Foxy is, by this time my ribs were hanging by a thread now, so that’s why I was just proper kneeing him in the ribs.
‘I was thinking, ”Well, you broke my rib on this course, let me try and break one of your ribs!”’
Payback: Kieron said he ‘wanted to kill’ the ex Special Forces Agent, 45, (pictured) as he showered him with kicks to ‘seek revenge’ after Foxy cracked his rib earlier in the series
Kieron said: ‘Before this challenge, they get you psyched up about your family, who you’d kill for, and then send you in against Foxy dressed in all the red kit’
According to the publication, the footballer’s SAS comrades Wes Nelson and Aled Davis were shocked by the outburst.
And after receiving a brutal pummelling and an onslaught of insults from Kieron, the SAS presenter reportedly said: ‘F***ing hell, my eyes are rattling in my head!’
Nevertheless, Kieron said he felt much ‘lighter’ and a ‘sense of release’ after exercising all his pent-up aggression in the challenge.
Shocked: He added: ‘When Ant [Middleton pictured] actually told me to stop, I stopped. I don’t think he thought I was going to stop, to be honest’
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