Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘We’ve All Been There’
A giant container ship is blocking the Suez Canal, one of the world’s most important maritime arteries, causing a traffic jam of more than 100 ships at each end.
“Yeah, that’s a tough day for that captain. Right now he’s trending worldwide on Twitter as #dockblocker,” Jimmy Fallon joked on Wednesday.
“If you look closely, the ship has a tiny bumper sticker that says ‘student driver.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Do you know how stressful it is to parallel-park when there’s someone behind you? Imagine blocking a whole hemisphere.” — JIMMY FALLON
“And I feel so bad for the captain of that ship that got stuck in the canal because, like, we’ve all been there, trying to make a U-turn on a narrow street. But now imagine how much more stressful it must be when you know that if you back up wrong, you might bump Egypt.” — TREVOR NOAH
“I also feel bad for the guys behind that ship, because it’s not like there’s a lot of alternate routes. Can you imagine if you are on one of those ships looking at your Waze app like, ‘What? Go around Africa?’” — TREVOR NOAH
“What this situation really shows is how even in this age of technology, we still depend on old-school things like cargo ships and canals. I mean, think about it: Right now we can use our wireless computer phone to buy a hologram with cryptocurrency, but at the same time, big boat got stuck, water too small.” — TREVOR NOAH
The Punchiest Punchlines (Extra Packaging Edition)
“I get it — after a year of quarantine, nothing fits anymore. They should have put that ship into their stretchy canal. You know, the one that looks like denim, but gives, and it’s smart enough to go from sofa to brunch.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“But when you look at how big that ship is, I’m not surprised it got stuck. And the crazy thing is that whole ship is just delivering two AA batteries. Yeah, the rest is just extra packaging.” — TREVOR NOAH
“I’ll give you a sense of how huge these container ships are: This one is as long as New York’s Empire State Building is tall. Well, there’s your problem. You should have sailed it through upright.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
The “Daily Show” correspondent Dulcé Sloan chronicles the oft-ignored history of female athlete-activists.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Maya Rudolph will catch up with her former “Saturday Night Live” co-star Jimmy Fallon on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Black nerds are finally having their long-awaited cultural moment.
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