Sideswipe: April 21: Magnificent headline

Sideswipe: April 21: Magnificent headline

Dress code micromanagement fail

A reader writes: “I work in upscale catering with a busy corporate division as well as our private events like weddings and such. The staff wore jeans and a T-shirt, which was fine for corporate deliveries of lunch and the like. My daily work wear is jeans, a crisp white shirt and Converse Chuck Taylor shoes. Red chucks, for the record. I also have full sleeve tattoos on my arms and a resting murder face … I’m very outgoing and like to get people to laugh, which I’m very good at with our clients. As such, the company owner has given me a lot more slack about some of the more formal rules in place because he knows I can make an event run smooth like rich creamery butter. So, my department head has a problem with the Chucks I wear … For months, she harped at me almost daily until finally I said I would not wear my red Chucks anymore … next day, I showed up in orange and white checked Vans. It’s a small malicious compliance, but I’ll never forget the look on her face when she realised how pointless her argument was.”

Geological howlers

Memorable excerpts from student geology examinations.

1. The average person does not have to dig a deep hole to remind himself of the past.

2. Dust is mud with the juice squeezed out.

3. Articulate brachiopods have teeth and socks.

4. A skeleton is a man with his inside out and his outside off.

5. There are three kinds of rocks: ingenious, sedentary and metaphoric.

6. Nine-eighths of an iceberg is beneath the sea.

7. It has been found by a gentleman that organic remains can be converted to petroleum by the processes of metabolism.

8. Sedimentation is a rather lengthy affair.

(W.D. Ian Rolfe’s 1980 collection Geological Howlers)

Op shop finds

Impartial jurors hard to find

Talking trash about the Kardashians is a common pastime for many Americans. This week, a few got to do it to their faces. Four Kardashians sat in a Los Angeles courtroom, all defendants in a lawsuit brought by Rob Kardashian’s former fiancée Blac Chyna. Prospective jurors were quizzed on their involvement. “Anything that has to do with their names is just a big no for me,” one man said, the AP reports. “I don’t think reality TV is good for society.” Another said: “I sincerely hope none of these people get any wealthier because of this.” A mother said: “I don’t think they were the best role models. I wouldn’t let my daughter watch anything involving them.” On the other hand, a few people said they couldn’t be fair because they’re such big fans.

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