We’ve made it to episode 8, and while at times I have felt like I am the protagonist in Miley Cyrus’ song The Climb, we are so close to seeing what’s waiting on the other side. It’s the climb. Yeah, yeah.
Well, that’s what I thought when the screener hit my desk. I felt good, I was raring to go, to inform the nation and share what celeb was behind that wildly decorated mask.
That was until my Look Sharp dancers were followed by what honestly looked like a neighbourhood flasher, but it was just host Clinton Randell.
He took off his weird cape, after again reminding everyone of a bet he made – that Ladi6 definitely wanted no part of – where he promised (literally no one) that he would wear a Speedo if Jellyfish wasn’t a professional singer. And she wasn’t, she was Matilda Green, and Randell was honestly frothing with the opportunity that had been presented to him – by himself.
Like that mate who occasionally dabbles in Les Mills and takes his kit off when literally nobody asked him to, Randell flicked his cape off and we instantly found ourselves chanting with judge Rhys Darby, “put it back on!”
But Randell is having none of it, instead declaring “a deal is a deal guys!’ as if WE somehow lost the bet and now have to honour our end by watching this. The Look Sharp dancers collectively flee and we honestly want to ask them if they are okay?
But the show must go on. Medusa was up first and I was excited as our judges gave each other looks that said “I know this voice” and then proceed to give guesses that suggested they absolutely did not.
First up in the guesses, the judges went for two ex-Dancing With The Stars contestants – because logic states that’s the clear direction to take, so we started with K’Lee and Laura Daniel. Closely followed by actress Lisa Chappell and radio host Megan Mansell.
Monster hit the stage next with Return of the Mack and his space-age dancers looked like a condom that was ribbed for our pleasure and his voice gave us the same experience.
The guesses were in: Tane Williams-Accra, the actual Cookie Time monster, Julian Dennison, and finally judge James Roque with a surely spot-on guess with rapper Kings.
Next up was our girl Pavlova, who is the only contestant who still has me genuinely baffled. “Girl, who are you?” I whisper to the screen, and myself every time I pretend I don’t want to see the dessert menu.
Sharon Casey decided she was baffled like I, and such went for Jacinda Ardern who apparently has nothing better to do. Darby admitted he has been listening, unlike the rest of the nation who tuned out, and went for Jane Kiely, followed by guesses for Teremoana Rapley and again Laura Daniel.
Tuatara was up next, and yes he was fantastic and yes I was genuinely in love with this voice and the human behind it seems equally brilliant. But the guesses were going to be crap and we knew it.
Casey went for her own husband, Bryce Casey, Darby went for Paul Williams, Ladi6 went spot on with Jason Kerrison and then split her vote with Joel Shadbolt. Then Roque genuinely pissed me off by guessing A-list Hollywood star KJ Apa, again.
Next up Sheep had us feeling Baa-rmy when he broke out in rap, and some of the smoothest dance moves this comp had ever seen. I adore him and decide he is too talented for this competition and hope his chosen career is doing ok.
Casey landed on Donald McNulty from Nesian Mystik, Darby went for Victoria Cross recipient Willy Apiata, Ladi6 guessed Rob Ruha and Roque landed on Israel Dagg.
In the end Monster and Medusa found themselves in the bottom two, and sadly it was time to say goodbye to Monster, but not before we saw who it was. Who was it? Who was it underneath the mask?
It was rapper and breakout star Kings, and while we were not shocked, we were for some reason sad to say goodbye to him and his foggy eyed costume.
“Thanks to all three of you for coming out,” said Kings in a shout-out to the crowd.
Then things got awkward and our hearts broke into big, medium, and small-sized pieces as Casey asked if Monster will sing more in the future.
“Nah”, the talented rapper replied. Sharing that when he heard Ladi6 state she didn’t believe Monster was a professional singer his internal monologue said “oh, sad.”
Oh, sad indeed.
• The Masked Singer NZ screens on Three on Sundays from 7pm and Mondays from 7.30pm
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