No sense reporting what movie nobody’ll see. Right now we’re all itchy. Today, I do political history.
Truman, one night before election, showed a headline predicting Dewey’s win for president. (That’s before we get into the mistaken headline the day after the election.)
In 2016, Trump marked a loser until the FBI’s damning e-mails on Clinton’s private e-mail server. Now with media howling at Donald, mightn’t Hunter’s “October Surprise” — playing potsy with Ukraine — zap hidin’ Biden?
Headlines four years ago: Monmouth University poll for Pennsylvania had Hillary up by 10 points. (Later, Trump won the state.) … Clinton ahead by 12 points among voters likely to cast ballots … Oct. 16, 2016: CBS: Clinton leads Trump by 14 points nationally … And NBC/WSJ poll Oct. 16, 2016: Clinton holds 11-point national lead.
ABC: Oct. 23, 2016: Clinton ahead by 12 percentage points among likely voters. And: Clinton leads Trump by 20 percentage points among women … Oct. 26, 2016: AP reports Clinton leads Trump by 14 points nationally … Same day USA Today and a Suffolk University poll: Clinton’s formidable lead over Trump approaching 10 percentage points.
President Bill Clinton, June 13, 1996: “[We] have to … take seriously the role … of older men. It’s a sad fact that half of all the underage mothers in this country were made pregnant by a man who was in his twenties or even older, someone who has no business taking advantage of an underage girl.” President George Bush: “When I need a little advice about Saddam Hussein, I turn to country music.” President Ronald Reagan: “Gerald Ford was a Communist.” (He meant congressman.) According to anonymous sources on the Internet, President Barack Obama once said, “Don’t underestimate Joe Biden’s ability to f–k things up.”
Non-President Biden, April 26, 2012: “I promise you, the president has a big stick. I promise you.” President Gerald Ford: “We have a strong president, supposedly in the White House. We have a strong Congress, supposedly in the legislative branch. We have a strong Supreme Court, supposedly heading the judiciary system.”
Reel life version
Before Nixon’s election in ’68 came a riotous Dem Convention. The subject of “The Trial of the Chicago 7,” a Sorkin production now on Netflix. An attendee remembers Abbie Hoffman baiting the “mean bastard” judge, played by Frank Langella, who did not capture his “snarly lapses,” even jailing Hoffman seven days extra “for laughing at him.” The court was full of Hollywood celebs giving autographs.
From their mouths
Vice President Dan Quayle speaking to the Christian Coalition: “No matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will never, never surrender to what is right.” Vice President Al Gore being televised in Jefferson’s Monticello home and referring to the busts of Jefferson, Washington, Franklin and the Marquis de Lafayette with: “Who are these guys?”
Presidential candidate Ted Kennedy: “I favor access to discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.”
President Jimmy Carter on why he talks to dictators: “These little guys who might be making atomic weapons or guilty of some human rights violations are looking for someone to listen to their problems.” Presidential candidate Bob Dole asked will he root for the American League or National League in the All-Star Game?” answered: “Probably.”
Presidential candidate Jeb Bush: “Women should be able to get their lives together and find a husband.”
Vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin: “How do you know there’s not a door to heaven in the sky between Malaysia and Vietnam?”
Biden’s high school job: He was a “Yes” man at the “Just Say No” foundation. Oy.
Only in the United States of America, kids, only in the United States of America.
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