DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife and I have a pretty good sex life but recently she has started to touch herself while we have sex.
This is a new thing and I’m worried that I’m not enough for her. I’m 36 and she’s 35.
I know she doesn’t always have an orgasm when we make love but when I offer to help her after I’ve climaxed, she always turns me down.
I’m finding it a bit insulting really and try to take over with my own hands.
But she always pushes me away, preferring her own touch.
How do I ensure that I am all she needs? I’m finding this very unsettling.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds as if your wife has discovered how to have an orgasm, which is good news for both of you.
While most enjoy the physical intimacy of penetrative sex, women achieve climax through stimulation of the clitoris which is located outside the vagina.
Ask your wife to show you how she likes to be touched so you can become more familiar with her body.
Don’t take this newfound confidence as a threat – you will both get a lot more from your sexual relationship if you enjoy her orgasms together.
I’m sending you my support pack How To Thrill A Woman In Bed for more ideas.
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