DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner spends up to five hours a day at weekends watching porn, making no attempt to hide it from me.
He is obsessed with sex and yet shows absolutely no interest in making love to me any more.
I’ve even caught him sexting other women and he’s definitely had a one-night stand with a colleague.
His sex drive is off the scale but when it comes to marital intimacy, I seem invisible.
I am 38 and he is 41. We have been together for 15 years and have two daughters, aged 12 and ten.
I am open-minded and always accepted that he would watch porn regularly.
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I never felt it was a threat to our love life. Until four or five years ago we still had a very health relationship in that regard.
But then I noticed he wasn’t as interested in me and seemed to prefer to pleasure himself instead.
The first time I got upset he seemed to listen, but it soon became apparent he wasn’t going to change his ways.
Next I found out he was sexting two other women from our town but he simply dismissed my concern, saying the messages meant nothing.
I decided to move on and put it behind me for the sake of our two children.
He also had a one-night stand with a work colleague — all the evidence was in his messages so he couldn’t deny it, but again he said it meant nothing.
I need to work out whether he is worth it any more. I’m entitled to be happy, after all.
Each time I discover what he has been doing he apologises, saying he loves me and can’t imagine his life without me.
It’s a vicious circle. I feel lost and confused.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your partner is a serial cheat and is unlikely to change.
He may not be physically hurting you but he is emotionally abusive.
You deserve better and so do your daughters.
He has you exactly where he wants you – running the home and supporting him while he hops from woman to woman.
You don’t need to listen to any more lies – you have enough evidence.
Best to be firm and tell him you are over.
My support pack Finding The Right Partner For You will help you make sure your next relationship is with someone who loves and respects you as you deserve.
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