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Have you ever tolerated someone\u2019s bad behaviour longer than you should have, because they were hot?<\/p>\n
If so, you might have let your mind be overcome by the halo effect.<\/p>\n
And it\u2019s a common experience \u2013 Jazz Denike, a twentysomething working in PR, admits: \u2018I definitely let this man breadcrumb me for weeks because I thought he was so hot.<\/p>\n
\u2018This other guy I dated for a few months in 2021 \u2013 I still lament about how hot he was \u2013 he was so rude to people, which I hated but then I\u2019d just be so enthralled by how attractive he was. <\/p>\n
\u2018I didn\u2019t even see that he wasn\u2019t kind until I was somewhat vulnerable to him myself and realised how vapid he was. It was a huge learning experience for me.\u2019<\/p>\n
Jessica, who doesn\u2019t want to share her real name due to the experience she had, also let herself be wooed by a man that was better looking than average.<\/p>\n
\u2018When I lived in Berlin, I met a super super handsome man working as a model and we had a short-lived romance,\u2019 she says.<\/p>\n
\u2018When I asked him about his sexual health status after spotting a blister-like patch on his penis, he told me he just hurt himself there and was clean \u2013 I believed it! Later I found out he\u2019d given me herpes. It was a horrible experience, and after all of that he ghosted me.<\/p>\n
\u2018Honesty, I would have spotted all the red flags at first but his looks and money flashed me and so I didn\u2019t think clearly. I\u2019m still a bit traumatised by it.\u2019<\/p>\n
This takes us to the halo effect.<\/p>\n
While plenty of things are also going on in the brain that impact our dating choices, the halo effect is a phenomena in which if someone has one positive trait off the bat \u2013 like being conventionally attractive \u2013 then we believe they will have other positive traits.<\/p>\n
This effect changes your perception of the people around you \ud83d\ude07 #thehaloeffect #psychology #psychologyfacts<\/p>\n
Ali Abdaal on TikTok explains this can happen when we\u2019ve just met someone, and we may assume they will be intelligent or kind based on that first good trait.<\/p>\n
In dating contexts, looks are usually what we first have to go on \u2013 so this is often what starts the halo effect chain, similar to pretty bias. Although, the halo effect takes place in all walks of life, from school to work.<\/p>\n
Lucy Beresford, a practising psychotherapist, says: \u2018It\u00a0works on a pre-verbal level, left over from the days when we had to make snap judgements about whether people were safe or not, part of our tribe or not. <\/p>\n
\u2018Our brain focuses on visuals, like attractiveness, or body language, before digging deeper.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u2018It might influence whether we even give someone a chance.\u2019<\/p>\n
This will likely also impact upon other issues, such as racial biases and ableism, as these snap judgements will serve those deemed most \u2018conventionally\u2019 attractive first and foremost.<\/p>\n
\u2018So we might\u00a0be missing out on the perfect partner for us,\u2019 Lucy adds. <\/p>\n
\u2018Also, it might make it harder for us to walk away from someone we have started dating, because we have created a superior version of the relationship in our head.\u2019<\/p>\n
Being aware of the halo effect is the first step in overcoming it. Lucy says it\u2019s good to question where your opinions of someone have derived from, and to then keep your feet firmly on the ground \u2013 instead of being instantly swept away.<\/p>\n
\u2018By bringing this concept to consciousness, we then have a choice whether to give in to it when we meet people,\u2019 she says. <\/p>\n
\u2018Refine your intuition, by recalling when you have made good or bad assumptions about someone. <\/p>\n
\u2018Give yourself permission to dig deeper, to give people the benefit of the doubt, and to resist making snap judgements.\u2019<\/p>\n