DEAR DEIDRE: I CAN’T last long in bed and my fiancée is losing respect for me.
I’m 44 and she is 42. We got together in our early twenties so we have weathered many storms as a couple.
Last year I got made redundant but my fiancée stood by me, despite this putting more pressure on her to carry us financially.
My confidence has taken a huge knock because ten months on, I’m still looking for a new job.
It’s beginning to have a bad effect on our sex life and I’m really starting to feel her frustration towards me – because I lack staying power.
Over the past year I’ve found it increasingly difficult to last longer than five minutes in bed.
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I never used to be like this, I was able to hold out much longer.
I’m not sure what has changed but I need to fix it before she decides enough is enough and then walks out on me.
We used to cuddle after sex but now she tells me to get off immediately and starts to sulk around the house.
When I ask her what’s wrong, she tells me that I only think of myself.
But it’s not true. I want to leave her satisfied but as soon as we get into it, I lose all control.
I know she’s losing respect for me because she’s even started calling me names.
Whenever I mention the wedding plans, she says she’s not feeling up to it.
How can I turn back the clock and perform like I used to be able to?
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DEIDRE SAYS: This recent knock to your confidence could explain why you are experiencing premature ejaculation.
Finding a job will alleviate a lot of the frustrations you are facing at home.
Securing a job takes a sustained effort. My support pack Help For Job Hunters explains more.
Visit your GP to make sure there are no health concerns causing this.
Once you’ve got the all-clear, you can find some tips in my support pack Want To Last Longer?
The majority of women do not orgasm via intercourse alone, which is why foreplay is so important.
My support pack How To Thrill A Woman In Bed explains more.
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