I found a condom wrapper on my 19-year-old son’s floor and told my friends about it – people say I’ve invaded his privacy, but others say it’s normal to offload

• A woman worried after she found a condom wrapper in her son, 19, room
• Read More:  I don’t let visitors hold my 6-month-old baby unless it suits me

A woman revealed she found a condom wrapper in her 19-year-old sons bedroom which she told her friends about.

Taking to British parenting platform Mumsnet, the woman explained she ‘offloaded’ to her friends and they think he’s being disrespectful.

She revealed her mates gave her ‘the third degree’ and said that they wouldn’t allow it under their own roof, and warned that she’s at risk of becoming a grandmother. 

The mother admitted she’s annoyed over their unwanted opinions, but many rushed to the comments and suggested that she shouldn’t have invaded her son’s privacy.     

A woman revealed on Mumsnet that she found a condom wrapper in her 19-year-old sons bedroom which she told her friends about (stock image) 

The post read: ‘My son is 19 and I found a piece of condom wrapper on his bedroom floor. I assume he is sexually active. 

‘His girlfriend has started to stay over which I didn’t initially agree to but my son gave the excuse that they fell asleep etc. 

‘I’ve spoken to him about being safe and responsible. Also that he has his whole life ahead of him and wouldn’t be the right time for a baby etc. He agrees and we left it at that. 

She continued: ‘Mentioned it to a couple of my best friends as I needed to offload. I know he’s of age but it’s reminded me he’s grown now. 

‘Both friends start giving the third degree. ”Oh my god you’re going the become a grandma”, “Oh gosh he should not be bringing girls to your home”, ”No way, there’s no way I’d allow that under my roof, he can’t have babies at his age”. I don’t know why I mentioned it now. And can you believe both of them were having sex from the ages of 14.’

Many rushed to her son’s defence saying he is an adult and she should respect his privacy.  

One person wrote: ‘Well don’t discuss your son’s sex life with your friends and mumsnet then. Respect his privacy.’

Another said: ‘He’s an adult male, set your house boundaries and leave him alone. Why are you in his room?’

Taking to the British parenting platform, the woman explained she ‘offloaded’ to her friends and they think he’s being disrespectful

While another said: ‘WTF are you doing discussing you son’s sex life with your friends. He’s 19. Have some respect for him.’

A fourth agreed saying: ‘I can’t believe you think it’s OK to tell your friends that your 19 year old son is having sex?

‘It’s not really your business, never mind theirs. Why is your 19 year old son having sex with his girlfriend and using condoms a ”dilemma” that you need to tell your friends about? You need to respect his privacy.’

Others suggested her real problem is the fact she didn’t set boundaries with her son and she should just tell him his girlfriend can’t sleep over.

One person wrote: ‘You should have had a discussion about sleeping arrangements with your son and laid out any boundaries/ compromises. 

‘Why have you not done so and then gone off gossiping about his sex life with your mates? You’re both adults. Have some respect and some backbone. 

Many rushed to her sons defence saying he is an adult and she should respect his privacy

Another said: ‘It’s completely up to you if you have his gf over to stay. I think you’re doing it right.

‘You’re letting her stay, not naive enough to think they’re not having sex and you are reminding him about safe sex and not having a baby at his age.

‘I’m not at that stage yet but I think you’re doing a great job and I plan to be the same.

‘If you discuss it with friends you need to be prepared for them to tell you that they don’t agree.

‘Their kids of the same age will be having sex but they’ll be much more sneakier and less likely to have had the safe sex chat.’

While someone else wrote: ‘If you don’t want his girlfriend to stay again then tell him that. There was no point in talking to him about being safe, you found a condom wrapper so he already was being safe. 

‘Of course he’s sexually active at 19. This whole thing must be mortifying for him. And your friends are being very dramatic saying you’ll be a grandma (especially because he’s clearly using condoms). 

‘If the issue is simply about his gf staying over then make it clear to him that you wont allow it, but don’t expect that that will stop them having sex.’

Others stood up for the mum saying she was entitled to offload to her friends and to enter her sons room

Others stood up for the mum saying she was entitled to offload to her friends and to enter her sons room. 

One person wrote: ‘Lovely people on this thread who never mention issues they’re having in their house to people they talk to. 

‘She’s hardly discussing positions, and of course in a way it’s an issue if anyone else is having sex in your house- it’s awkward- you don’t want to know your son is having sex in the next room!!!

‘And the people saying why would you go into your 19 yos room- I work with loads of young adults and teens and they all say ‘ah mum was good enough to give my room a quick clean this weekend’ or ‘mum took my top, washed it and put it back, it was a relief, I’d forgotten I needed it’ etc. Welcome to real life!!!’

While another said: ‘Op don’t worry MN is a completely unrealistic place. It’s normal to chat your best friends about your son (in fact I’ve just closed the phobe to my friends chatting about her daughter and her new bf), it’s normal to go in your sons room, it’s normal to be worried about his life, it’s also normal to feel the sadness that your sons going to fly the nest and has his own life and choices etc. 

‘People missed the point this is more about those feelings of nostalgia… Don’t have an answer really, I’m sure I’ll go through the same.’

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